I haven't written anything lately because nothing seems to come to mind. It's harder than I thought to produce something every week. It's not like I've been lost or otherwise AWOL; there are plenty of stories I could related - like my car breaking down the night before Thanksgiving two states away - but they aren't in the context of this blog.
The lack of writing also isn't the result of a miracle cure of my own depression. I never claimed to have all the answers, but I don't know what else to share at this point. Coping with depression is a long process that repeats every day you wake up. It's aggravatingly tedious to cope with. But, I can't just repost my other writing.
What do you want to hear about or discuss? Let me know with your comments or an email. Would you want to write your own post? Know of any other LDS-related sites for depression so I don't have to do this any more? ;) JK!
Monday, December 10, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
You know those meds work when…
I forgot to take my medication Friday night and it showed the next two days. All day Saturday I felt the physical effects the med literature lists as “side effects” of missing a dose. I was lightheaded, had a splitting headache, and felt queasy. I thought I was getting sick until I realized the cause. But the physical effects were just a part of it. I was mean and grumpy for two days. Luckily I spent Saturday working outside getting everything ready for winter so nobody else was really affected. The headache and lightheaded feelings were on Sunday but I was still grumpy most of the day. I put on a phony smile when people said hello at church and just listened instead of participating.
Sometimes I question how much the medication is helping me and wonder if it’s a waste. My wife says she has seen a big change but my response is that the change is because of everything I’ve been doing since asking for help. But this episode points out that the medication must be helping if my mood changes so drastically by missing one dose.
I want to get off the medication eventually. It’s not a big deal to take it, but I’d rather not depend on it. Part of me expects to “be fixed and normal” as a result of the meds and therapy so someday I won’t have to take a pill every night and do all this mental analysis stuff. That’s my goal. We’ll see if it works that way. I know that it isn’t realistic everyone – nor is it their fault.
Sometimes I question how much the medication is helping me and wonder if it’s a waste. My wife says she has seen a big change but my response is that the change is because of everything I’ve been doing since asking for help. But this episode points out that the medication must be helping if my mood changes so drastically by missing one dose.
I want to get off the medication eventually. It’s not a big deal to take it, but I’d rather not depend on it. Part of me expects to “be fixed and normal” as a result of the meds and therapy so someday I won’t have to take a pill every night and do all this mental analysis stuff. That’s my goal. We’ll see if it works that way. I know that it isn’t realistic everyone – nor is it their fault.
Monday, October 29, 2007
An Example For Us All
A sister in our ward passed away on Saturday following a stroke. She was in her 70's and in frail health so as sad as everyone was, it wasn't a great surprise. She was always kind to everyone and well liked. Her husband came to church on Sunday - the day after his wife of 50+ years passed away. He was subdued but glad to come to church and feel the Spirit.
How many of us would say "I need time alone" or "I can't go yet" in the face of a tragedy? I know my first reaction would be to not go. I wouldn't fault someone who didn't go. But that's when we need to go to church the most: when we feel down and out. We need the gospel to urge us to push along. We need the fellowship of the Holy Ghost to comfort and guide us. We need the fellowship of our unit family members. (We shouldn't go expecting to get everyone's attention, either.) There is a safety net in the gospel of people who care for us, whether we realize it or not. They may be a home teacher or visiting teacher, a friend we've served with, someone we've home or visit taught, and certainly always the Bishop or Branch President.
Follow this good brother's example and go to church, regardless of the trials or disappointments the week has presented. You will be blessed as a result.
How many of us would say "I need time alone" or "I can't go yet" in the face of a tragedy? I know my first reaction would be to not go. I wouldn't fault someone who didn't go. But that's when we need to go to church the most: when we feel down and out. We need the gospel to urge us to push along. We need the fellowship of the Holy Ghost to comfort and guide us. We need the fellowship of our unit family members. (We shouldn't go expecting to get everyone's attention, either.) There is a safety net in the gospel of people who care for us, whether we realize it or not. They may be a home teacher or visiting teacher, a friend we've served with, someone we've home or visit taught, and certainly always the Bishop or Branch President.
Follow this good brother's example and go to church, regardless of the trials or disappointments the week has presented. You will be blessed as a result.
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