I forgot to take my medication Friday night and it showed the next two days. All day Saturday I felt the physical effects the med literature lists as “side effects” of missing a dose. I was lightheaded, had a splitting headache, and felt queasy. I thought I was getting sick until I realized the cause. But the physical effects were just a part of it. I was mean and grumpy for two days. Luckily I spent Saturday working outside getting everything ready for winter so nobody else was really affected. The headache and lightheaded feelings were on Sunday but I was still grumpy most of the day. I put on a phony smile when people said hello at church and just listened instead of participating.
Sometimes I question how much the medication is helping me and wonder if it’s a waste. My wife says she has seen a big change but my response is that the change is because of everything I’ve been doing since asking for help. But this episode points out that the medication must be helping if my mood changes so drastically by missing one dose.
I want to get off the medication eventually. It’s not a big deal to take it, but I’d rather not depend on it. Part of me expects to “be fixed and normal” as a result of the meds and therapy so someday I won’t have to take a pill every night and do all this mental analysis stuff. That’s my goal. We’ll see if it works that way. I know that it isn’t realistic everyone – nor is it their fault.
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I don't know if you'll read this, seeing as how this post is years old, but I wanted to tell you that I stumbled on your blog in a desperate search for help with my depression. I'm about at wits end. This weekend was horrible, and I think I'm realizing it might be from skipping meds. I didn't even think about that. Thanks for posting your thoughts and stories. It's nice to relate.
The feeling I get from people in my ward is you don"t talk about the D word...depression. Having lived with it all my life it is my life,but do my best to focus on things that bring me joy as hard as it maybe some days. Depression doesn't show favorites it will hit everyone at one point, but to some in a more severe way. Wish someone would have a 'blog', or some sort o support group for LDS members where we can share our day, weeks and just be there for one another when we have 'those' lonely awful moments of darkness. I'm leaving my email for anyone who wishes to contact me...let's chat....Grandma of 4 and still lonely... 4/24/2016
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