The Lord wants us to overcome the trials of life. That’s part of the plan of salvation. There are countless trials people encounter; depression is one of those trials. The Lord has given us tools and opportunities to change for the better. Think of all the advances made in the field of medicine. A hundred years ago, people severely depressed were institutionalized with “melancholy” and basically locked up, forgotten. Now there is help in the form of medical knowledge of the brain and the body’s systems, counseling and medication.
Taking the LDS perspective, another important tool is the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Many consider the Atonement only deals with our sins but they don’t take into account how much it does for our feelings; whether the feelings are pride, jealousy, bitterness, disappointment, offense, etc. In the April 2006 General Conference, Elder Jeffrey R Holland gave a masterful talk about the Atonement healing our wounded hearts titled “Broken Things to Mend.” I know he didn’t give the talk just for me, but it came when I was at my all-time low. I was in bad shape and didn’t think there was anywhere to go but down. I really felt as if there was no point in continuing. I tried to rationalize that I knew the gospel and had learned everything I needed and since I felt so badly, I would be better off moving out of this life. Then the despair would be gone. (Over a year later, it’s literally painful just to remember how I was.)
Elder Holland began by saying:
“I speak to those who are facing personal trials and family struggles, those who endure conflicts fought in the lonely foxholes of the heart, those trying to hold back floodwaters of despair that sometimes wash over us like a tsunami of the soul. I wish to speak particularly to you who feel your lives are broken, seemingly beyond repair.” (“Broken Things to Mend,” Ensign, May 2006, 69.)That was me. I felt beyond repair. There was no explanation why I felt that way. Nobody knew how I felt, not even my wife. I had been withdrawing into myself for months. But Elder Holland’s talk started me thinking a bit. Paraphrasing the Savior Elder Holland continued:
“If you will follow me, I will lead you out of darkness,” He promises. “I will give you answers to your prayers. I will give you rest to your souls.” (ibid, 69.)Rest for my soul? Was there such a thing? I rationally knew there was but didn’t feel like it was possible. I decided to tell my wife what was going on inside. As great a relationship we have, it was hard. It was admitting defeat. I had known for years that my depression was real but keeping it inside felt safe. Telling her about it was like revealing my biggest flaw after more than a decade of marriage. The fear that she would think I was a fraud and a liar made it even harder. My mind had all these scenarios that would end in disaster. How did she react? It was a relief to her. She said “this explains so much.” She was great. She has always been great. I am very blessed to have her. She talked me into going to our doctor and talk about my options. For about thirty years I thought I could handle it alone. It was so much better having someone in on “the secret.” She has helped me so much.
My final take for today is first, let someone help support you emotional healing. Second, make the Atonement part of your recovery. The Savior will help us if we ask Him. If you want further proof, read the entire talk by Elder Holland’s which also includes these quotes:
I testify that the Savior’s Atonement lifts from us not only the burden of our sins but also the burden of our disappointments and sorrows, our heartaches and our despair. (ibid, 70.)
Considering the incomprehensible cost of the Crucifixion and Atonement, I promise you He is not going to turn His back on us now. (ibid, 71.)
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