An Example For Us All

A sister in our ward passed away on Saturday following a stroke. She was in her 70's and in frail health so as sad as everyone was, it wasn't a great surprise. She was always kind to everyone and well liked. Her husband came to church on Sunday - the day after his wife of 50+ years passed away. He was subdued but glad to come to church and feel the Spirit.

How many of us would say "I need time alone" or "I can't go yet" in the face of a tragedy? I know my first reaction would be to not go. I wouldn't fault someone who didn't go. But that's when we need to go to church the most: when we feel down and out. We need the gospel to urge us to push along. We need the fellowship of the Holy Ghost to comfort and guide us. We need the fellowship of our unit family members. (We shouldn't go expecting to get everyone's attention, either.) There is a safety net in the gospel of people who care for us, whether we realize it or not. They may be a home teacher or visiting teacher, a friend we've served with, someone we've home or visit taught, and certainly always the Bishop or Branch President.

Follow this good brother's example and go to church, regardless of the trials or disappointments the week has presented. You will be blessed as a result.

Live by Faith and Not by Fear

That is the title for the conference talk given by our newest Apostle, Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. He quoted some scriptures that are good to remind us that our depression is something we can cope with.

D&C 68: 5-6:
"Behold, this is the promise of the Lord unto you, O ye my servants.
"Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you; and ye shall bear record of me, even Jesus Christ, that I am the Son of the living God, that I was, that I am, and that I am to come."

2 Timothy 1:7:
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

Elder Cook concludes:

It is our faith in Jesus Christ that sustains us at the crossroads of life’s journey. It is the first principle of the gospel. Without it we will spin our wheels at the intersection, spending our precious time but getting nowhere. It is Christ who offers the invitation to follow Him, to give Him our burden, and to carry His yoke, “for [His] yoke is easy, and [His] burden is light” (Matthew 11:30).

I need consistent reminders that we should have joy in our life as the result of our righteousness instead of getting sucked down the drain of depression. All too often, my first instinct is to say life is hard and bleak. Yes, there are sufferings in life. But, it's a plan of happiness that we are following in the gospel, not a plan focused on thorns and thistles.

Tunnel Vision

Having depression is like tunnel vision. You're not in a fog where some things are discernable. Instead, you can only see one thing: your suffering. And because that's all you see, it gives you the sense that there's nothing else - the "old you" is gone and you are destined for continual suffering. The depression gets more restricting the longer we feel this way.

In the Sunday morning session of general conference last week, President Henry B. Eyring said:

My point is to urge you to find ways to recognize and remember God’s kindness. It will build our testimonies. You may not keep a journal. You may not share whatever record you keep with those you love and serve. But you and they will be blessed as you remember what the Lord has done. You remember that song we sometimes sing: “Count your many blessings; name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.”

It's important for us to remember and then live accordingly to the good things we've experienced. Having the Holy Ghost will help us remember our blessings. The Holy Ghost can expand the blinders until they're eventually removed. The Savior said in John 14:26: “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.” Although depression makes us feel like we're not worthy of the Holy Ghost or can't feel it, that's a false conclusion. So long as we haven't broken any commandments, we can still feel the Holy Ghost, despite the depression. Depression can't drive the Holy Ghost from us like sin, it simply makes us less inclined to listen.

President Eyring further instructed:

Heavenly Father has given a simple pattern for us to receive the Holy Ghost not once but continually in the tumult of our daily lives. The pattern is repeated in the sacramental prayer: We promise that we will always remember the Savior. We promise to take His name upon us. We promise to keep His commandments. And we are promised that if we do that, we will have His Spirit to be with us.

Do what you can to receive the promptings of the Holy Ghost. It can help in ways you will not expect. Having said that, I don't want to mislead anyone that I think depression is a spiritual sickness or can only be removed by religious means. You may need medical help. I did. You certainly can't face depression alone. But, the gospel greatly helps me deal with depression. Our Heavenly Father will always help us if we do what is right.

Blog Action Day

I've always considered myself an environmentalist. Not an extremist but I try to reduce my impact. I don't believe a word of Al Gore's current rhetoric. Basically, I want to cut out as much waste as possible and keep the world from turning into a giant toxic landfill. I'm really glad to live in an area of the country where recycling is mandatory. Americans are probably more wasteful than any other country so it only makes sense to recycle glass, cans, plastic and paper. It's better both environmentally and economically.

One thing I've recently done is reducing the amount of plastic bottled drinks we buy, whether it's bottled water, sports drinks, etc. We always recycled plastic bottles but now we reuse the plastic bottles until they get crunched by the kids at soccer practice, chewed by the dog or somehow unusable. We still have a case of bottled water in our food storage but reuse bottles until they can't be used any more.

I drink about a gallon of water a day. At work I would wash out a plastic water bottle every morning and use it to drink water at my desk. Now I have a glass Nantucket Nectars bottle. It's much easier to clean and won't have to be replaced unless I break it. (After a month or so, plastic bottles don't get clean on the inside unless you use a bottle brush.)

Why reduce water bottles? Plastic bottles are made of oil. I already pay enough for gasoline, why give the Middle East more of my money? Wikipedia cites the "process of making the plastic bottles for the water bottles consumed in the U.S. uses approximately 17 million barrels of oil per year." The Wikipedia article does a good job explaining the waste of plastic bottles. If you want another source, see this ABC News article.

If you're still wondering what environmentalism has to do with depression, I'd say it would be one less thing to worry about if we made a difference. =) See the Blog Action Day website for more about the virtual "Earth Day."

President Faust's Counsel

I listen to Ensign articles, General Conference talks or the scriptures on my way to work in the morning. The mp3 resources the Church puts out are great. Sometimes I keep older material on my mp3 player just for variety. This just popped out at me today from President James E. Faust's article, “Welcoming Every Single One” in the August 2007 Ensign, page 4:

To be in control of your life, to be a success regardless of your marital situation, I recommend that you come to know your Father in Heaven. You can best do this by prayer, study, and keeping the commandments. Always remember that He loves you and will give you guidance and support if you will invite Him into your life. Include Him in your decision making. Include Him when you take inventory of your personal worth. Pray to Him when you are discouraged, because I testify that He does hear our cries for help. In his insightful discourse on prayer, the prophet Zenos observed, “And thou didst hear me because of mine afflictions and my sincerity” (Alma 33:11).

I don't know how many times I've listened to that article. This was very helpful in reminding me to reach out to my Father in Heaven.

Others' Actions and My Reactions

I wrote last week one of the things that affects my depression is how certain people treat me. As a coincidence, I had an experience that affirms that you shouldn’t let other peoples' actions control you. There’s a couple that are going through a divorce, although they are both still living in the same house to help their teenage children. They’ve been inactive from church for a while but still had lots of contact with members. The local paper reported the wife was arrested for public intoxication. These are people I consider friends – they’ve had us over for dinner and we’ve had them over.

I stopped by after church to offer help. All four cars were in the driveway, I could see the television turned on and hear them talking through the door. The dog started barking when I knocked and I heard someone walking inside. But nobody answered the door. Then I heard the husband call the dog away from the door. Still no answer at the door. The dog kept barking at me through the window next to the door. Still no answer. I decided to leave after a minute and a half.

At first I kept thinking “how can someone be so dumb to hide” and “do they think I’m so gullible to think they weren’t home?” Why would a “friend” do that? My wife suggested maybe they’re embarrassed and don’t want to talk about it right now. That’s understandable. I suppose they could have avoided me because I’m from the church and that compounds any embarrassment or guilt they feel. There’s probably other reasons that I’m not bright enough to think of... Whatever the reason, I have to remember that it’s their decision to not open the door. My good intentions aren’t meant to be an intrusion. If I can help them later on, I’ll still offer it. In the mean time, this doesn’t have to get to me. There is a reason somebody does something to you that may have more to do with them than with you. Don't let someone else get you down.

Blessings By Meeting Obligations

There have been more things on our calendar last month than there was room to write it all in; we had to have extra notes to keep track of it all. I’ve also got this big project in the back yard that has taken much more time than I expected. It feels like the important things aren’t getting done as a result of all the calendaring, particularly spending time with the kids to help with their homework and have fun with them. Plus, I haven’t felt too well emotionally for a bit.

I didn’t want to go to church yesterday. I wanted to use the time for something else. There were plenty of other options. I wanted the time to do something for myself, by myself. The deciding factor was to teach my lesson. I enjoy teaching. The interaction, the learning, the reminders are all great for everyone. My feelings leading up to yesterday’s lesson were that anyone could do it this time. But I was asked to do it so I felt it would be wrong to skip a week without a real excuse.

The lesson went better than expected although I can’t explain why. In the end, I was glad I stuck in there because I know I felt better at the end of church than if I had stayed home for something else.

That’s the way the gospel works. We are blessed when we keep the commandments and do our best. Is teaching a lesson is considered keeping a commandment? That’s a topic for the Bloggernacle people to discuss but my opinion is that we “talk of Christ, preach of Christ and rejoice in Christ” together if we take His name upon us by taking the sacrament. Furthermore, we covenanted in the temple to build up the kingdom. I’m just a tiny cog in the building process but without all the cogs working together, there would be no building process. You’re blessed when you perform in your calling, regardless of what it is. You’re blessed if you don’t have a calling when you go to church. You’re blessed if you read the scriptures. With these few paragraphs, you can tell that I may not be the best example in all these aspects. The point is that we get more out of it than what we put in. That is enough to keep me going for the next day. I hope it does for everyone else.